Saluting an icon - Ramblings

In the late Sixties a group of Italian engineers did something which was to affect the automotive industry irreversibly. After hours, in their own time, they decided to design, engineer and build a car which had the engine behind the driver, but still in front of the rear axel. The result was the worlds first mid-engined production road car; the Lamborghini Miura.

Today almost all performance cars or supercars are mid-engined and it’s hard to imagine a time when it wasn’t the done thing. But then, it was new. Very new. It had been done for race cars true, but no-one had thought of doing it to a road car. No other car looked like it. ‘Oh’ you may say. ‘If they hadn’t done it Ferrari would have anyway. And within two years there were other mid-engined cars about. Why is the Miura so special?’

Well that’s a fair point. You’re quite right, around the same time Ferrari were developing mid-engined cars. But I think that the Miura is special for three good reasons. Firstly, it was the first. If Ferrari were the first to do it then I suppose we’d salute them, but they weren’t, so we don’t. Secondly, if Ferrari, or Mercedes, or Jaguar for instance had done it first then that would be brilliant, but they were big names already. They had started off very early in the twentieth century. They had pedigree and experience but before the Miura Lamborghini didn’t properly exist. That car came out of nowhere. You’ve got to admit, that’s kinda cool.

Thirdly, you need to analyse the Miura. I know it’s a bit nerdy and boring but place yourself in 1967. In Britain saloons were legion. Ford, Vauxhall and British Leyland were practically all you saw. The odd French and German saloon and maybe a Datsun 1000. And suddenly you see a Miura. It’s only 105 cm tall, that’s just over 40 inches. It’s a got a four litre twelve cylinder engine which sits just behind the two seats, and the doors flick up at the back so when the doors are both open the front profile of the car is of a bulls head with horns. That’s cool today. Then it was revolutionary. It combined, power, passion and eccentricity in a way that hadn’t been seen before.

Today it’s not uncommon to see a powerful, dramatically styled car that stands out. They’re a part of our society and culture. The Miura started something that someone else may well have started otherwise but it started it with an enormous amount of flare, passion, charisma and confidence and as such to this day stands out as a definitive supercar. The Lamborghini Miura, I salute you.

My car - Ramblings

The ignition key rotates in its slot putting pressure on a spring mechanism, in turn triggering an electronic signal to fire down a set of wiring to a small electronic motor. This motor or ‘starter motor’ is connected to a set of pistons, spark plugs and fuel injectors, causing the fuel injectors to inject, the spark plugs to spark and the pistons (due to the aforementioned sparks igniting the fuel that has just been injected) to pump . These pistons are directly connected to a single crankshaft, which has as a counterweight a flywheel at one end.

This chain reaction is the beginning of something magical, something astonishing, a cacophony of noise and vibration which powers and motivates our world. That small metal key depressing that spring starts our day, takes us to work, allows us to earn our living, takes us home, takes us to the store so that we can spend our earnings on our upkeep.

Though, thinking about it, that small key depressing that spring is a status symbol. It’s desirable. It’s good looking and has a spoiler. It has sporting pretentions, no, it is sporty. It has double wish-bone suspension and heated seats. It has a premium badge and cost me significantly more than a similar model from another company which means it is rare and exclusive.

It has adaptive cruise control that continually monitors your speed and revs. It has two overhead camshafts and butterfly valves in the exhaust outlets. It has low profile tyres. And, to be honest, I have no idea what any of that means. The salesman said it when I was in the showroom along with adjectives like refined, dynamic, efficient, phosphorescent. That last one was to do with the headlights I think.

I’ve now owned it for four months. I’ve got used to it; the electronic buzz of the driver’s seat automatically assuming your driving position; the way the proximity alarm resonates throughout when you’re parking; the metallic crack/thunk of the central locking. Usually it just has a gentle surge of acceleration, as all six cylinders vibrate joyously, the pistons within rampantly dancing on cue to my right foot on the pedal. A whim, an impulse, a sudden urge to depress the pedal completely is all it takes and the gentle surge becomes an avalanche of acceleration, the pistons’ dance turns into an orgy of movement and noise. Onlookers tend to raise their eyebrows. Either in awe or annoyance, I’m not quite sure which though I’ll imagine the former. It’s not perfect. I don’t understand half the things on it. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Best Supercar? - Ramblings

That’s a tough one isn’t it? I was brainstorming one evening and trying to think of interesting topics for the blog. I happened to write down the word supercar and then the word best and looking at the two words together made me think. How does one list the best supercars? Randomly? In alphabetical order? Chronologically? In order of personal preference? If the latter, then whose personal preference? And who is composing the list for that matter? The writer presumably, but if that’s the case it’s bound to be incorrect to readers, the word best being so subjective. Also, a slight thought; how does one define best, because best doesn’t necessarily mean fastest.

A list of the fastest supercars would be easy. Just Google fastest cars and then copy and paste your findings. The word best though. Best could mean anything. It could mean best built, best looking, best sounding, or it could be an amalgamation of all that. Also some of the most memorable and likable cars in the world are technically rubbish, but yet you still like them, if not love them.

I appreciate that best probably isn’t the best word to use (see what I did there?), but it’s a good word because it is so personal. You could say Great. That’s also very subjective and personal but it is more of a technical adjective. If you were to announce the greatest car in the world, it would have overtones of achieving more than was expected, being technically greater than predecessors or contemporaries. The best car though, doesn’t quite have so much gravity. It’s still analysing peak achievements and accomplishments but is derived from a more innocent origin, as if from urges and personal tastes rather then knowledge based opinions.

I will certainly have a think about this one, but it is tricky, because my best isn’t necessarily anyone else’s best. In my opinion the best ocean is the pacific. That’s my opinion, please feel free to disagree.

Apology and stuff

I apologise for the rather elongated hiatus since early January. I’ve had a lot on, as indeed we all have I suppose. I won’t go into detail but life is a little more static at the moment so I will indeed try to be more productive towards this automotive Blog.

For a start, my initial intentions of writing a weekly car review have sort of withered and fallen over but I am still intending to. If anyone has any requests for reviews then please email them to me (address on right border) and I will certainly do my best. However please note that my usual fare is second-hand bargains and hatchbacks. I like to think of myself as ‘The Peoples Reviewer’ if that’s not sounding too grandiose. How about The second-hand peoples reviewer? Though that could be misinterpreted. Please don’t think I’m reviewing second-hand people. I think that might be illegal. My point is please don’t request a review on the Aston Martin DBS or a Ferrari. While I hope to be reviewing that sort of thing at some stage in my career, I don’t think they’re on the cards just yet.

I hope you’ve read what this blog already has and I hope that you continue to read as it develops. Many thanks, Jolee

Dream Garage - Essay

Everyone would have their own dream garage if they could I’d imagine. You know; a collection of 10 or so cars that to them are just the bee’s knees. They wouldn’t have to be perfect cars, they could be terrible, but to that person, the dream collection.

I’ve been thinking a bit about my hypothetical dream garage today. I’ve tried to put as much rational and practical thought into it as possible, rather than just be silly and choose 10 or so supercars. I’ve tried to think a lot about what cars mean to me and what I value in them. What gets me interested in a car and so forth. It might sound a little over the top and frivolous, but when you do analyse your own perceptions of something you care a great deal for, you can’t help but get a little swept up in it.

In my case for instance a great car, or ‘dream’ car has to have a few foundation stones. These might vary in quantity or frequency from car to car but they do have to be there.

First is innovation; the car is essentially a metal box that is propelled along by a series of small explosions, designed originally for practicality and convenience. However, we’ve used it so much over the years that a LOT of thought has gone into how to improve it. So much so in fact that throughout its history and development as a piece of technology it has exhibited such innovation, imagination and forward thinking that while being the same basic recipe as it was a hundred years ago, its efficiency, reliability and practicality bear no resemblance to itself as it originally was. It is real innovation and good ideas that have helped it along. A great car to me should reflect this. It should be clever and most of all it shouldn’t be afraid to bend the rules or be different.

Second is character. Cars are surprisingly anthropomorphic. Lots of people name their cars or at the least establish whether it’s a he or a she. We like to give them characters. Probably because they’re part of our lives usually from the word go. But I think it’s also because they’re very complex and more to the point noticeably complex. Even if you don’t understand in any way how a car works you know there’s a lot of ‘stuff’ involved. From the noise it makes to the levers and pedals you have to operate in order to drive one. It’s a very physical thing; you can feel the vibration of the engine. You can feel the friction of metal on metal when you change gear. You can sense when a car is struggling with a given terrain and you naturally will it onward, primarily because you’re in it, but also because you can sense all these complex, meticulous things like vibrations and noises and their endless combinations giving you certain impressions and eventually characters. Human beings have very complex characters, so naturally we’re used to automatically empathising with other complex characters. But who says these characters have to be human. We empathise with other animals very easily and it’s not the first time that a tonne and a bit of metal with hundreds of moving parts has been called an ‘animal’ in its own right. They also sound like animals some of the time. Cars can purr, they can growl, they can bark, they can roar, shriek, whine, grumble, croak and hiss. No-wonder we read a bit of sentience into them occasionally. They can also have very varied characters. Some sports cars are like excitable puppies with quick revving high-pitched engines, agile handling and a slight lack of discipline. Some old off roaders are like a shire horse; big, strong, not in a hurry but with a gutsy-engine. Some powerful executive saloons are like an eagle or a falcon; strong, precise, serene, very calm and collected when cruising but with an embedded ability to dive at full power if required. Whatever the character, a great car should have one and an endearing one at that.

Third is build quality. A bit self explanatory this one. Needless, to say a great car doesn’t necessarily need to be working, but it certainly helps.

Forth is a little more individual; it’s a WOW factor, a sort of X factor that can appear in several guises. It’s a sense that this car is special, a sense that this car steps above the rest, it might even be for a very mundane reason. But if it matters to you, then it matters.

Here then is my DREAM GARAGE. It’s the cars that stand out to me for the above reasons. It’s the cars that I like and the cars about which I actually do think: I would love to own of those at some point. Some are down to earth, some are a bit fanciful, some are just fun, but hey, the word dream isn’t used for no reason.

1. - Aston Martin Vantage (1993 model)

2. - Bugatti EB110S

3. - Bugatti Veyron

4. - Ferrari 612 Scaglietti

5. - Honda Accord 2.0 (2009 model)

6. - Lotus Exige S

7. - Nissan GTR

8. - Nissan R390 GT1

9. - Skoda Octavia VRS

10. - Volkswagen Phaeton W12  

Review - Renault Clio

I like to think of myself as an honest person; maybe slightly flawed, but honest.

The Renault Clio lies within a very extensive car class: family hatchbacks. There’s practically a car for everyone here; from the light and advanced Japanese offerings to the chunkier, solid ones from Germany and Britain. The Clio of course, is French, and you’ve got to hand it to them; they are very good at diversity.

The exterior is a good starting point (though please note the model has recently changed a lot, a couple of times, so for arguments sake the one I’m reviewing was on a 54 plate, or 2004). It doesn’t have the bubble, orb like appearance of some of its rivals; it’s unadorned, with a smooth but functional compact design. It is nicely rounded but doesn’t have a ‘bulging’ appearance that some can have. The only downside is that this can leave it looking a bit plain.

This doesn’t seem to bother the Clio though; it somehow lacks the relentless need to impress that you can get with other cars. Some have so many gadgets and lights that you think you’re in a microwave. And the interior follows suit. Conventional dials along with simple light displays are attractive yet practical. These combined with the visually dull yet comfortable seats make the cabin a practical and comfortable place to be. There is one thing however; most small cars are designed to feel incredibly light and responsive with light clutches and steering. The Clio doesn’t. Its clutch feels chunky and metallic, like it’s moving girders around underneath you. I like that, when the clutch is light it makes you wonder what on earth it’s doing. The steering isn’t overly light either. It’s not stiff but there’s enough resistance to stop you snapping the wheel off.

It seems then, that the Clio is rather stuck in its ways. It doesn’t want to try the new fandangled gadgets and gizmos with ultra light steering. It’s proud of what it is and that’s that. One more thing about the interior before I move on; the driving position is rather low down compared to others, as if to give you better stability and road-handling. Now this is a hatchback and not a sports coupe, so why have they done that? It is true that Renault is into their motor sports, so it might be an echo of that, though I think its part of the cars character. “I am a practical hatchback, but I am my own car. Like it or lump it.”

Then there’s the ride itself. Now you’d expect from what I just said for it to be firm and sporty, and it is, kind of. Though only slightly; in this area it does what a family hatchback should do. It is comfortable, that must be said, though you do get a fair bit of feed back, which is no bad thing. It allows you to play more with your driving, as it tells you what works and what doesn’t. Now I drove the 1.2 litre petrol model, and this had a lot of go while still being economical and cheap. However, a hatchback is designed to be practical and load carrying, which the Clio is, so I can see performance going significantly if you load it up too much. Not to worry though. They also provide it with a 1.4 petrol, 1.6 petrol, and a whopping 2 litre petrol if you’re planning on loading it with lead bars. This again reflects the nature of the car. It can be economical, or it can be a bit of a brute for its class.

Overall I do like this car. It’s not overly advanced or attractive, but it is honest, a trait which can be underappreciated (subtle link to the intro…). It is nicely and practically designed as well as being comfortable for all, and not just the driver. It seems to be for those who want a conventional, simple car to get them from A to B.

Fun - Top 10 cars for not being noticed

To be honest, most cars aren’t that visually exciting are they? Most just bumble along with sensible doors, and sensible bumpers, and sensible exhausts. They’re visually understated, functional things owned by sensible people.

Some however are just a bit too understated. These are cars that are so normal looking and so reservedly styled that no celebrity, actor or millionaire could drive one of these around, could they?

So then, let’s celebrate the top ten cars that just wouldn’t get you noticed. In reverse order of course:

10. Ford Escort - Funky for the Eighties, but these days you just don't think about them.

9. Mercedes-Benz C class - A nice, good car, but the baby Merc saloon and so many about that you don't pay attention.

8. Vauxhall Vectra - A practical, functional saloon, but not the most extrovert of cars is it?


7. Mercedes-Benz CLK - Unlikely for a coupe, but there's something about it which is somewhat generic.

6. Volkswagen polo - Sensible, normal and German, these are everywhere, and never in an outrageous colour is it?


5. 1990's Nissan Primera - Quite dull if we're honest. A smooth body for the 90's but in just the right way that it isn't exciting.

4. Toyota Corolla - As normal as Toyota have achieved really. Nothing that stands out here.

3. Nissan Bluebird - Not bad for the Eighties, but not particularly interesting. The only thing that saves it from true understated anonymity is that they're pretty rare these days.

2. Subaru Legacy - A very good car actually, but so beautifully calm and inconspicuous in design that it just doesn't stand out.

1. Volvo S40 -  Apologies to anyone who owns one of these, they're good cars, but you do have to admit: They are a tad anonymous. Like the Legacy above they're very good really, it's just they're very... well... safe and buying a S40 is a safer move than wearing a suit of armour when going into a boxing match. Not that safe is bad, its not, just not exciting.